FAQs

How the fuck do I play?

Generally, there will be a topic card and you will receive answer cards to select from. Pick the one you think is the funniest answer or the one you think the judge will find funniest or most clever by dragging your selection up toward the topic card. Everyone takes a turn as judge where you will choose the best card received from the other players. If your amount of winning cards reaches 7 first, then you win. There are three different game modes:

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• CLASSIC - Everybody gets 7 cards and a new card is shuffled into your hand after every round. The first person to win 7 rounds first, wins!

• BIZZARO - Same as CLASSIC mode except your hand will be full of topic cards and you will have to match them to an answer card.

• SURVIVOR - All users are dealt 10 cards and no new cards are ever shuffled into your hand. There are no discard or wildcard options in this game mode. You may only use the cards that you receive and once you have played one, it disappears forever. The winner is whichever player has the most points when someone runs out of cards.

 

What the fuck is cake?

Cake is a form of currency in Evil Apples. You get it by winning games or by spending two hours in a kitchen in front of a hot oven. It can be used to play Quick Play games with strangers, and even to purchase some of the expansion decks in the Store.

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What the fuck are points?

Points let your friends know that you're funnier than they are. Every time you win a hand in any of our game modes, you receive a point. When you open your friends list on the FRIENDS Tab, you can see how many points each of your friends have to see how you stack up.

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What the fuck is a wildcard?

Think you got jokes? Hit the “Wildcard” button located just to the right of your hand of cards to write your own card and submit it to the judge. It’ll cost you 7 coins, but if you win, the bragging rights are priceless.

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How the fuck do I snooze a player?

If a player is taking too long to answer or you think they dropped their phone in the toilet, then you can snooze them by tapping their avatar on the bottom of the screen. This will skip their turn until they return to the game. This feature is only available in Friends games; in Quick Play games, there is a 1-minute timer for all players.

 

How the fuck do I turn decks on and off?

We understand if you just want to play with certain decks. It’s no big deal. I mean we worked really hard on making all of these decks but whatever I guess, have it your way. While in a game, tap the DECKS button to the right of the topic card and from there you can toggle any decks on or off. If you're not in a game, go to the DECKS Tab to access this same menu.

 

How the fuck do I backup my profile?

Backing up your profile makes it easier for you to restore your profile if you have to reinstall the app or if you drop a hammer on your phone. Tap the SETTINGS Tab button on the opening screen, and turn the Email switch to "ON" in the "Backup User Data" section. You'll be presented with a screen that will let you enter your email address, and we'll send you a magic link that lets us confirm your email as a backup method.

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How the fuck do I log in to my existing account?

When first opening the game after reinstall or on a new/additional device, type your email address in the field if you've used it to login in the past. If you used to login using a different method, tap "Skip This." On the next page you'll see another button that reads "Not new? Tap here to sign in" which will present you with our legacy login options.

 

How the fuck do I mute other players?

We like all of our players, but some of them can be real dicks sometimes. If someone is being a dick in chat, you can mute their messages by tapping on their avatar and selecting MUTE. You won’t see any of their messages and they won’t be notified that they have been muted. If a player is making threats, using hate speech or nudity, then you can report them to Evil Apples by hitting the REPORT button after tapping their avatar. Please report them so we can get those dicks out of the game.

 

How the fuck do I start a game?

Ready to jump in and show the world how funny you are? When you open the app, you will be presented with two options: Quick Play with strangers (which costs 1 cake), or Host Game with friends (free!). If you choose to host a game for your friends, you will be able to invite anyone you know to join a game with you. If you choose Quick Play with strangers you will be immediately dropped into a game with randomly selected players (who could become friends over time!). Enjoy!

 

How the fuck do I quit a game?

Oh shit! The boss is coming. Quick….uh...look busy. And hit the MENU button at the top of the screen and select QUIT GAME to exit the game. You will forfeit the game and any cake that you spent to join the game, but will keep your job. So choose wisely.

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How the fuck do I ask you some other question?

Check out our Contact Page. And please stop sending nudes.